Let me help you understand that you have freedom of thought, and by that, I mean you have the freedom to think whatever it is you want to think, you can entertain delusions of grandeur at your pleasure, you can have any woman you want, or best any man, or save the world, the village, the girl, you can have it all in your head, or you can have nothing, you can just shut off inside your head, you can stop thinking, you can just sit there and not exist if that’s what you fucking want, or if you don’t know what you want, you can think about that for awhile, can’t you? And when you’re sitting here thinking, or not thinking, or trying to stop thinking, you might think that perhaps you want more, or you don’t want anything, or you might want something, but you can’t have it, you can’t get what it is that you want because someone else, a better man, a more wily socialite, a real entertainer, a real pretender, he has taken what it is that you want and now you can’t have it. So, let me re-iterate it for you, my friend, my listener, my unwilling listener, let me help you understand that you have the freedom of thought, and by that, I mean you can think whatever the hell you want, because in your head is the only place you are free anymore, don’t you get it now? Outside your head, you have the freedom to hear what it is that others want, you can hear about what they’ve done on the radio or the television or the internet or the newspaper or you can read about it in that paperback you bought at the fancy new bookstore they built in the shopping mall or the used book store next to the college kids’ coffee shop or maybe you found it on the street or maybe you snatched it right out of someone’s hand, maybe you stole it right out of that man’s hand while they were reading and learning what you now know, and that’s the knowledge, the competing truth that you wrestle with daily, monthly, yearly, from the womb you’ve wrestled with it, before you existed your mother wrestled with it, even as a child, even as a wailing infant she wrestled with it, and before her there were others who understood this same despairing anti-principle – you, that’s right, you have the freedom of thought, and anything else you think you might have will be lost in dramatic, tragic fashion, and others will look at you like you’re sick, like failure is contagious, and maybe it is. In the end we’ll all lose everything, we’ll lose our minds, our bodies, our dignity, all of it, and then we’re only left with the realization that you once had what you want, or maybe you had a shot at it, maybe it was a fair shot at what you wanted, or maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was ripped right from your loose-fingered grasp, maybe you were careless, maybe you were inside your head again, maybe you were inside your head thinking too much, and then when you came out again what you thought you had became someone else’s, or maybe who you thought you had became someone else. And once you’ve come out of your haven, once you’re out shifting in the white light again, you begin to see for the first time what you had been refusing to see all along, and that’s that you have this freedom of thought that took over your life, and your mind wandered, and you became unfocused, and too free, and you were too stupid to realize that everyone left the goddamned room ten minutes ago, everyone left you in that room sulking long, long ago, and when you thought, when you were thinking before that you thought you might like to have some time to yourself, that you thought you just wanted to be left alone, that when you were actually alone, when it was just you in that room sulking, with no one left to try and figure you out, the silence wasn’t as tranquil as you imagined – was it? All this freedom that you thought you had, this free free mind that you thought was strong, independent, this lean, muscular mind turned out to be weak, dependent, meager, and now all you want was what you had, but the only thing you can’t have is what you had, because you didn’t cherish what you had, you didn’t tend to it, you didn’t cultivate it as you should have, and now, once you’re forced to face the consequences, you find yourself melting and weakening and refusing and refusing and refusing and losing again and again and again. What you thought was your freedom inside this mind of yours has now become your curse – it is not the free place it once was, but a place you can’t leave, the man at the door says you can, insists you can, but you can’t, and do you want to know why you can’t? It’s because you’re free to say or do or feel anything now inside your head, as you ever have, except now all it is you want to do is to shut it off (shut it off, for Christ’s sake!). But it’s too late, and you know it’s too late, and you can’t say it, you can’t say those words, or you can say it but you won’t mean it, you’ve never meant it when you said it before, you’ve never really meant it, or maybe you wanted to mean it, but you can’t reach out and take it, you can’t rip it from that man’s hands, and even if he’s holding it out for you, if he’s saying “Here, take it,” you can’t say it because you just don’t know how. You will never say it, and you’ll sit in the corners of your mind in misery until the day that you die, you poor fuck. You will never say it.