“I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.” – Carrie Prejean, Miss California
Did you hear, despite being in a state of threatened collapse, the Pakistani government is currently going forward with plans to build a new generation of nuclear bombs?
No, of course not. But I bet you did hear about this little side-story: A hot chick says she’s against gay marriage. Cue political pundits, give it a couple days, and you have a full-blown media blitzkrieg. On the right, Miss California is brave and principled. Enter stage right: Morning talk show appearances and reiterations of stuff we’ve already heard. On the left, Prejean is a hypocrite. Enter stage left: Shameful photos of a topless Prejean (complete with stars to obscure that most intolerable part of the body: the human nipple). Then, Donald Trump has to decide whether she keeps her crown.
Under the surface, we have an argument about what the idealized American woman should be. And to me, that makes all of this a little more important than your average left/right he said/she said bullshit fest. Maybe I don’t have any business delving into this territory, but what can I say, I’m interested. So give me a chance. If I did have a stake, I would say something like, “You know, if we want our Miss Americas to be all pious and virginal, why do we take most of their clothes off and parade them across a stage for our entertainment? Isn’t that a bit creepy?” If I weren’t paying so much attention to Pakistan, I would add, “Seriously, you take a topless photo and you’re a filthy whore. You take a bikini photo and you’re a role model for millions of budding American girls.” I might say, “Okay, so she broke the rules. But maybe the rules are fundamentally flawed. We’re sexualizing our American women while simultaneously insisting that they remain chaste and unscathed.” We ask their opinions and expect a prepared, scripted answer? There are plenty of intelligent women out there – women who rival Ms. Prejean in beauty and absolutely kick her ass in intellect. So, we trot out fifty bimbos who aren’t exactly stock, implore them to prance around and insist on boring, parroted answers to simple questions. Seriously, this is our idealized American woman? So when one says something different, something unexpected, something unpopular, she is reprimanded, threatened, crucified, and disrobed before the entire country – in a frightening display of intolerance from the the all-inclusive, live-and-let-live left. She didn’t say what they wanted her to say, so they destroyed her. And from the intolerant right, she is pardoned, uplifted, deified. Never mind that she took some scantily-clad photos that they would normally find objectionable – they can use her. She’s useful.
Never mind the politics – cast that aside for a moment and realize this is about more than that. She may have whored herself out to Right-wing media in the midst of the storm, and she espouses a belief which I personally object to, and she may be a bit of a hypocrite (give me a break, who isn’t?). This is about more than her. It’s about the hers out there, who are perpetually confused about what’s expected of them in this dualistic whore/virgin society that we live in. And political views? Our idealized woman isn’t interested in such things. We inform her of the correct answer, and she dittos it back to us with an awkwardly choreographed delivery – but with a smile (you’re a doll, babe). What does it mean to be a woman in American society, what should our girls strive for? Is it this? A beauty pageant complete with a question-and-answer charade? Oh Jesus, someone went off-script. She doesn’t agree with you, she’s a “stupid bitch.” But what if she answered correctly? What if all went as planned? What is she then? And is this “she” what we want our “shes” striving to be? Likable – not intellectual. Sweet – not argumentative. Complacent – not independent. Detached – not engaged. Beautiful – but hollow. Do we want our girls to be any of these women?
Carrie Prejean: Sure, she’s probably not familiar with all the nuances of the gay marriage issue, but she gave her opinion – the real one. And now, she’s swept into the firestorm. It’s too late for her now. We all know what follows. The tabloids, the Entertainment magazine, the prime time interview – then the downward spiral, the meltdown, the vanquished gladiator lying beaten in the dusts of the arena.
I bet she’ll write a book.